Reflections of a Single Mum

As someone who suffers from mental health issues, it's your mind that you battle with the most. Anxious thoughts lead to depression and depression can lead to ending your life. And I'm speaking from experience. When you lose someone close to you, no amount of words can describe what you're feeling.  All you feel is a constant ache in your heart. When you lose someone who was once a great supporter of your life, I have found that that ache is always there in varying degrees.  Being a single mother, as I have said before, is hard - really hard. Add to that a lack of support and at times, it's unbearable. My beloved Mum was my greatest support.  I would ring her every day and we would discuss a wide range of topics, I would pour out my troubles to her and she would not only listen, but would always offer words of comfort.  She was my rock, my constant.  Now that she is gone, time certainly does not ease the pain, or heal that pain. I continually face chall...

I always took being a mother seriously and never once thought that when my children grew up, my job was done.  Not that I interfere in their lives, on the contrary, they all know that I will always support them, no matter what decisions they make. I may offer my advice or make a suggestion, but I don't interfere.  I have made countless mistakes in raising them on my own, and I have to work really hard not to beat myself up over those mistakes.  No one gives you a manuel when each one is born, because, obviously, they are all born with different personalities and characters.  Even if someone was to hand you a manuel, it would be so incredibly overwhelming with information and warnings that you would probably scream "no, I can't handle THAT!" but, somehow, you do. I believe that that is why our Heavenly Father doesn't want us to know our futures because He alone knows what lies ahead of us, and yes, a lot of what we face is heartbreaking and you think that you w...

Hello all, I know it's been a while since I've written but as I said in my last post, I was having a much needed holiday in Spain ( which was AMAZING, by the way!) Well, my youngest son survived very well without me and I came home to a very neat and tidy house! It was actually a great thing to leave him on his own for all that time because he learned how to be independent - he cooked, cleaned, did his laundry and generally enjoyed being here at home on his own! One of many things about being a parent, particularly a single parent, is ensuring that throughout the growing years, you need to instill in them that they will always have a place to which they can return - which is the "roots" part , like a tree with roots that go down deep and able to withstand the difficulties of life that we all encounter at some stage, and knowing that they can always come back to you for support.   Imparting your wisdom and encouragement during these years is crucial for their deve...

One of the things about being a single mum is that you don't often get a break, which is fine because to mothers like me, raising my children, especially raising them to grow up to be decent human beings, is worth all the time and effort you put in, despite not getting a lot of time to yourself. As my youngest is on the threshhold of turning 18, new journeys await both of us.  It is with some trepidation (for me, that is!) as he begins his new path that is lying ahead of him and all I can do is hope and pray that the lessons that I have spent the last 18 years teaching, will stick, hoping like crazy that somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he will recall at least some of the things that I have tried to teach him!  The biggest test, of course, will be when I head overseas in 3 weeks' time for a much-needed holiday for a glorious 6 weeks, all by myself, no less! I have spent the last few weeks typing out lists of things for him to remember to do (like watering my plants!)...

I think one of the hardest things about being a single mum is when your children are sick or not well and you don't have anyone to give you a hug and just say "it's going to be alright", no one to just reassure you and help carry your worries. As I look back over these last 25 or so years, right up to today, that feeling of being overwhelmed with emotion at receiving upsetting news that one of your children isn't well, never leaves you no matter how old your children get. Tears flow down your cheeks, you pray fervently that everything will be fine, but then that doubt creeps in, especially when you are sleep-deprived, and then it takes every bit of faith that you have to stop you from going under with the weight of worry and wishing with all your heart that whatever it is that's not right with your child,  would just be taken away and their health is perfect.  As I said, in times like that, you could really do with a big hug and to be able to look into tha...

      Children learn what they live  by  Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism,        He learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility,        He learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule,        He learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame,        He learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance,        He learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement,        He learns confidence. If a child lives with praise,        He learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness,        He learns justice. If a child lives with security,        He learns to have faith. As a woman who grew up with the first verse's way of life, through no intentional fault of my beloved parents, I was determined to raise my children with t...