Reflections of a Single Mum

As Christmas approaches, I recall with a mixture of pride, wistfulness, melancholy and fondness when I think of all the Christmases where I played Santa and provided so much joy within my children, as well as myself. Allow me to explain these emotions:  pride, because I did it all on my own.  wistfulness, because those days are over.   melancholy, because those days will always make me feel that I wish I could relive them fondness because I know that no matter what, no one can take away those memories that I, and I alone, have embedded  into my children's memories and hearts forever and for that reason, I too, think of all those Christmas mornings, evenings, and days, and smile.                                                                                  ...

When my first husband  wanted to try to reconcile, I was over the moon.  I really believed that things would be better and that our life would improve.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I was completely unprepared, I guess because I was so certain that he wanted to rejoin our little family, that it just didn't occur to me that we should have had some sort of marriage counselling. So we moved into a bigger  house to a town in which I had lived before, so it was nice to have that familiarity.  I enrolled my little girl into the local school and my little boy, who was only three, had the whole yard to himself when his big sister was at school. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was still very much emotionally involved with his mistress more than I was aware.  Obviously, because she was pregnant, I knew that there would still be some sort of attachment, but I just didn't know how much involvement there was. After three or so months of my husband ...

Moving to our next house was full of adventure for my two young children. They had so much fun "exploring" the back yard, the huge garage and other little pockets of interest. My daughter continued at the same school, so that made the transition of moving an easier task. One thing that was new to us was that there were only two bedrooms, so my daughter and my son had to share a room.  I remember thinking to myself "this will be interesting!".  They got along quite well, but, like any siblings, there were challenges, but nothing that I couldn't really handle. My dear Mum would often come and babysit for me while I had little breaks, which were blissful. During these visits, my beloved mother would read them stories, or rather, she would act them out, even using a very large toy coyote, who doubled as a wolf, to play the role of the Big Bad Wolf in the Three Little Pigs.  My children were absolutely thrilled and delighted at my mother's fantastic storyt...

When I think of all the houses we lived in, each and every one of them holds memories, both good and bad. In the first house that we moved to after my first husband announced that our marriage was over, my then three and one year old needed me to be strong, despite the overwhelming feelings that were running through me.  I needed to establish some boundaries, for their sakes and for mine. Not knowing how to cope with suddenly being a single mother, I decided to enrol my little girl into some sort of  pre-school.  I thought that this would be good for her and for me, but looking back now, and knowing what I know now, I really wish I could go back and change that decision, but I can't. It truly was a horrendous time for all of us.  My dear little girl had severe abandonment fears, but at the time, I simply could not cope. To say it was heartbreaking is an understatement.  My dear little baby boy, thankfully, was unaware of what was surrounding us. The only s...

" I choose to remember memories that are happy than the ones that make me sad; to dwell on the good, and not on the bad..You cannot forget the ones that make you sad, but you must hold onto the ones that will forever make you glad."  Quote by Blue Mountains Girl Part of being a single Mum means that you move house a lot, but you have to make the most of it.  Trying to always see the bright side isn't always easy, but when you have some very precious lives that you're solely responsible for, somehow, you have to find a way. When my first husband decided to leave, my now-adult children were three and one respectively.  I can't explain it, but something in me decided to make their lives as happy as possible and build memories that they, and I, wouldn't forget. As their birthdays are two weeks apart, every year I would have combined birthday parties for them, much to their chagrin, but to me, it made sense for so many reasons. I did the same thing for my ...

Becoming a mother for the first time completely overwhelmed me. All the books that I had read before this life-changing event did not say anything about how much your heart would swell with love when you first gaze upon your child, nor did they prepare you for the possibility that in just three years time, your marriage would be over. I don't think anything can prepare you for that. Being a mother is, to me, the most important job in the world because we are the ones who spend the most time with our children and I believe that it's up to us to teach, guide, discipline but most of all, love, our children with every fibre of our being. I realise that there are single fathers out there who experience similar experiences to me, but mothers are different and I believe that the love we  have for our children is different, because we know them in ways that fathers are not able to,  from the moment we are aware of their conception, from inside of us, for forty weeks, an...